SEE YOU LATER, GETAWEI

She consistently pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me do things I would have never done. During those years, starting an Instagram page or a YouTube challenge wasn’t as common as it is today. I remember my early self-talks where I told myself that I had to be brave and not care about what other people thought, and to do what truly excited me. I remember looking around and seeing that nobody close to me was doing the same thing. I remember having to figure everything out myself because there was no road map back then as there is today for this obscure internet career. I had to rely on her and believed in where she could go one day. No degree at the time would have prepared me for this. I also remember the number of times I would have said no to an experience but changed my answer because I wanted to “do it for the blog” or “try something new and exciting”. I remember this one time I brought Theresa to Anton’s Pasta for their whole plate challenge because she wanted to finish the entire plate, but instead she made me finish it for “the blog” and I did. I have so many amazing memories because of her.

In my mid-twenties she challenged me by teaching me my purpose. I realized all I wanted was to put a smile on someone’s face each day, or inspire them in some way. I wanted to live a life to be proud of – to have fun, but most importantly to be a kind person, to be an honest person. This began to anchor the purpose behind every time I clicked “share” on each platform. The purpose wasn’t just to grow, but for each person who clicked “follow, subscribe, or share” to be someone who also shared the same type of values. It was more important to have a positive, supportive community than the largest one. As my purpose became more and more clear, so did my realization of needing to leave my relationship. I finally had the courage to do this in the middle of a pandemic in 2020. It was one of the toughest things I had ever done, one that was largely inspired by my own purpose on this platform. I wanted to share every aspect of my life, not just because it had become my job, but because I wanted to lead by example through every share. Towards the end of the relationship I remember hiding so much of what was going on, mostly because I was ashamed. It was crazy to me how something once so beautiful had turned into something so unrecognizable. I think part of me was taking the time to process how things had changed, and for a few short years, I had lost myself. I was not the fun, positive, kind, honest person I wanted to be. I felt like a fraud during those periods. I realized that I wanted my platform to be fun, kind, honest, and authentic, but my personal life was far from that. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to start a podcast back then or give advice to anyone when I couldn’t even take my own. I remember getawei during this time was a shadow; idly standing by until I was ready to pick her up again. I used her as a getaway from my true reality, putting a smile on my face on camera and being the reason for me to be occupied post corporate hours. Eventually she became my driving force to walk away, reminding me to always live authentically and live a life to be proud of – a life to be shared. All those nights that ended in tears, I would close my eyes and envision where she could take me one day. I promised that one day, when I gathered enough courage to leave that relationship, my platforms would explode with authenticity, fun, and kindness.

When I think of getawei, I thank her for all those years she has pushed me out of my comfort zone, pushed me to pave my own way, and pushed me to be my most authentic self. I am so grateful for everything she has given me, from the positive people I get to interact with day-to-day, the brands that I get to work with, and being able to live a life with a purpose I’m aligned with.